Reluctant is an understatement for both Wayne and I when thinking about writing an annual "Christmas letter". But, this December, as we have begun receiving some from friends near and far, we've realized that we actually enjoy reading about their lives and those of their families over the past year. Many of these friends are far away and we rarely have the opportunity to visit with them in person and the annual update keeps us in tune with a few little pieces of their lives. So...in 2015 we have decided to embark on one of our own....NEVER thought this would happen!
To preface my reluctance, when I was in high school and college, my paternal grandmother would ask me each year to help her with her letter. It was very long and, in my young mind, very boring. It chronicled her travels, of which there were many, and her ailments of which there were more and more each year. It was generally self-centered, not mentioning any of the rest of the family or their activities. To put it mildly, I hated doing it, but calmly did anyway! Most of my young contemporaries didn't do update letters until much later in their lives. In fact we laughed about the ones we received from older folks that we knew.
Wayne has never considered doing one, since he has tasked himself over 40+ years with creating a photo card, generally, a collage of the family. However, now that the "family" has doubled in size, the photo collage has as well, and trying to caption everything to capture the essence of the past year is almost impossible. Therefore, we have decided to do a Christmas letter to go along with the collage, thus making it a bit more easy to identify who's who and doing what!
We hope that our reluctance will shift to willingness in years to come after we try 2015!! Note: We really do welcome any and all annual updates from all of our friends and family who choose to create them!! Bring them ON!! Love you all.
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
Friday, July 10, 2015
The Heaven Box: "You never know when you will have to go, so you'd better have your good stuff ready!"
The title of this "chapter" from Two Reluctant Seniors comes from my youngest son, Ian, who at age 5, after attending a funeral with me for a friend, had some good questions and some solutions. The service was for a young woman, mother of three, who died unexpectedly and far too soon.
At the service and looking skeptically at the casket, Ian wanted to know where our friend Carol was. "Is she in that fancy box? Where exactly is she?" I explained that what was in the fancy box was Carol's shell and that Carol's person-spirit had gone to heaven. He was happy with that, not wanting his friend Carol to be locked in a box and put into the ground!
After we had been home for a bit, I discovered Ian packing a small cardboard box with his best stuff....his precious 'blanky' and some other special items. I asked what he was doing and he replied "Well Mom, I'm packing my heaven box. You never know when you might have to go, so you'd better have your good stuff ready!"
I'm reminded of this often as, lately, we're realizing that we are on the final laps of our time in this world, and we really don't know when we might "have to go!" I'm not an obituary reader, however, this morning I looked them over to see what age seemed to be the most common for the end of life. Today, it was 88!!
Both of us are curious about how much time we might have left under the best of circumstances....will it be 10 years, 15 years, 20 years? We both have lineal relatives who lived well into their late 80's and 90's, but we both have lineal relatives who finished in their early to mid-70's, also.
It's very odd to be thinking about how to use the time left in the best way possible. It seems only yesterday when we were anxiously awaiting age 16 so we could drive, age 18 so we could drink, age 21 so we could vote....we had all the time in the world and were rushing into life as fast and as headlong as we could.
Now, we are counting the possibilities and wishing time to slow down so that we can craft the best 'heaven box' and do all the things that are still undone....read all the books we want to read, see all the movies we want to see, travel all the many places in the world that are lovely and/or intriguing, see our grandchildren grow up, see our good friends and family often, and be with each other for a really long time!! As one philosophic man said, "Youth is wasted on the young!" I think we may have wasted some of it! We want some of that back and can't have it!
Sooooo.....we are busy cramming our best stuff into life and making the most of whatever we are allotted. We just don't know "when we might have to go, and we would like to have our best stuff ready."
Post script....the "Heaven Box" has become a tradition in my family. Each time someone leaves us, my talented brothers craft a beautiful wooden box called "the heaven box." Into that box go any written memories, messages, and mementos, from those close to the spirit who has left. It's a very special way for everyone to say goodbye and children, too, are comforted by this ritual.
At the service and looking skeptically at the casket, Ian wanted to know where our friend Carol was. "Is she in that fancy box? Where exactly is she?" I explained that what was in the fancy box was Carol's shell and that Carol's person-spirit had gone to heaven. He was happy with that, not wanting his friend Carol to be locked in a box and put into the ground!
After we had been home for a bit, I discovered Ian packing a small cardboard box with his best stuff....his precious 'blanky' and some other special items. I asked what he was doing and he replied "Well Mom, I'm packing my heaven box. You never know when you might have to go, so you'd better have your good stuff ready!"
I'm reminded of this often as, lately, we're realizing that we are on the final laps of our time in this world, and we really don't know when we might "have to go!" I'm not an obituary reader, however, this morning I looked them over to see what age seemed to be the most common for the end of life. Today, it was 88!!
Both of us are curious about how much time we might have left under the best of circumstances....will it be 10 years, 15 years, 20 years? We both have lineal relatives who lived well into their late 80's and 90's, but we both have lineal relatives who finished in their early to mid-70's, also.
It's very odd to be thinking about how to use the time left in the best way possible. It seems only yesterday when we were anxiously awaiting age 16 so we could drive, age 18 so we could drink, age 21 so we could vote....we had all the time in the world and were rushing into life as fast and as headlong as we could.
Now, we are counting the possibilities and wishing time to slow down so that we can craft the best 'heaven box' and do all the things that are still undone....read all the books we want to read, see all the movies we want to see, travel all the many places in the world that are lovely and/or intriguing, see our grandchildren grow up, see our good friends and family often, and be with each other for a really long time!! As one philosophic man said, "Youth is wasted on the young!" I think we may have wasted some of it! We want some of that back and can't have it!
Sooooo.....we are busy cramming our best stuff into life and making the most of whatever we are allotted. We just don't know "when we might have to go, and we would like to have our best stuff ready."
Post script....the "Heaven Box" has become a tradition in my family. Each time someone leaves us, my talented brothers craft a beautiful wooden box called "the heaven box." Into that box go any written memories, messages, and mementos, from those close to the spirit who has left. It's a very special way for everyone to say goodbye and children, too, are comforted by this ritual.
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
OMG....How Could We Have so Much STUFF???
About five years ago, I began feeling somewhat overwhelmed by "stuff." My five bedroom house in Denver really didn't look stuffed, but somehow I had the niggling feeling that I was experiencing "stuff creep!" To make myself feel better, I took a few boxes of "stuff" to Goodwill and patted myself on the back, and then promptly realized that there was still too much "stuff" in my house and garage.
When, approximately 3 years ago, I began preparing to make a move to Wisconsin to be with Wayne full time, the huge task ahead of me became all too real. As I began sorting my clothes, I found that I had lots of lovely things....lovely things that were never worn for one reason or another or had just been forgotten. As I started going through the rooms formerly occupied by my sons and querying them about their "stuff," I initially got "Mom! Don't get rid of any of my "stuff," however when I presented one or the other of them a box of their "stuff," to take to their homes, I got "Mom, I don't have room for this "stuff!" When push came to shove and I was really packing boxes to move, I got "Mom, I don't want any of this "stuff." "But it's yours, I replied." and I got "I don't see why you think I would want it!" The end result was that the only things they cared about were a few of their photos, their old Atari game system and the original Nintendo game system, and stacks of baseball cards. Wayne and I took at least thirty loads to Goodwill! And I was free of "stuff" for the most part.
As we settled into couples life in Mequon, Wisconsin in the house where Wayne has lived for more than forty years, Wayne kept telling me that he was feeling overwhelmed by "stuff." The attic was full of "stuff" and the basement was full of "stuff." The crawl spaces had abundant "stuff." We began pulling out boxes a few at a time and going through them. About 75% of the "stuff" ends up going to Goodwill or into the garbage can. We pack up boxes of "stuff" that we think his kids will want and find that they feel about the same way my sons did. Since there are girls in the mix here, they like mementos somewhat better and are sometimes happy to have what we offer. We've resorted to slipping a box of stuff into their cars when they come by the house. It's going to be a long slow process!
Wayne's son lives in California and we have begun packing a large suitcase with "stuff" that belongs to him and taking it to California when we travel there to give to him. You probably know that the look we get isn't one of happy excitement. To be fair, Buzz did ship a pile of "stuff" via rail to California on one of his visits, but I think he will be getting suitcases of "stuff" for the foreseeable future.
It feels good to begin this process and I think our offspring will be grateful in the end since they won't have to sort through the huge volume of "stuff" when we are gone. We also have this opportunity to mark valuable "stuff," photos, and keepsakes so that they won't be discarded by accident when we aren't here to save them.
Most of you probably have the same problem unless you have lived a minimalist life or unless you have moved and downsized recently. Our advice is to start now....most of it is just miscellaneous "stuff" with not of much value to anyone....it's just accumulated and multiplied over time. We say "Free yourself! It's makes one's soul lighter!"
On the other hand.....we had to sort our parents' "stuff" so.......perhaps we should just leave it for the kids!! Some sort of poetic justice!!!
When, approximately 3 years ago, I began preparing to make a move to Wisconsin to be with Wayne full time, the huge task ahead of me became all too real. As I began sorting my clothes, I found that I had lots of lovely things....lovely things that were never worn for one reason or another or had just been forgotten. As I started going through the rooms formerly occupied by my sons and querying them about their "stuff," I initially got "Mom! Don't get rid of any of my "stuff," however when I presented one or the other of them a box of their "stuff," to take to their homes, I got "Mom, I don't have room for this "stuff!" When push came to shove and I was really packing boxes to move, I got "Mom, I don't want any of this "stuff." "But it's yours, I replied." and I got "I don't see why you think I would want it!" The end result was that the only things they cared about were a few of their photos, their old Atari game system and the original Nintendo game system, and stacks of baseball cards. Wayne and I took at least thirty loads to Goodwill! And I was free of "stuff" for the most part.
As we settled into couples life in Mequon, Wisconsin in the house where Wayne has lived for more than forty years, Wayne kept telling me that he was feeling overwhelmed by "stuff." The attic was full of "stuff" and the basement was full of "stuff." The crawl spaces had abundant "stuff." We began pulling out boxes a few at a time and going through them. About 75% of the "stuff" ends up going to Goodwill or into the garbage can. We pack up boxes of "stuff" that we think his kids will want and find that they feel about the same way my sons did. Since there are girls in the mix here, they like mementos somewhat better and are sometimes happy to have what we offer. We've resorted to slipping a box of stuff into their cars when they come by the house. It's going to be a long slow process!
Wayne's son lives in California and we have begun packing a large suitcase with "stuff" that belongs to him and taking it to California when we travel there to give to him. You probably know that the look we get isn't one of happy excitement. To be fair, Buzz did ship a pile of "stuff" via rail to California on one of his visits, but I think he will be getting suitcases of "stuff" for the foreseeable future.
It feels good to begin this process and I think our offspring will be grateful in the end since they won't have to sort through the huge volume of "stuff" when we are gone. We also have this opportunity to mark valuable "stuff," photos, and keepsakes so that they won't be discarded by accident when we aren't here to save them.
Most of you probably have the same problem unless you have lived a minimalist life or unless you have moved and downsized recently. Our advice is to start now....most of it is just miscellaneous "stuff" with not of much value to anyone....it's just accumulated and multiplied over time. We say "Free yourself! It's makes one's soul lighter!"
On the other hand.....we had to sort our parents' "stuff" so.......perhaps we should just leave it for the kids!! Some sort of poetic justice!!!
Friday, June 12, 2015
On the Road Again....
Wayne and I "reluctantly" hit the road again on May 30 heading for Colorado for our yearly trip to my family's ranch in the high country of Western Colorado. I say "reluctantly," because we were only home from our European adventure for a couple of weeks when it was time to pack up and go again. We had tons of yard and garden work to do and would have loved another week or two.....
The reason for traveling so soon was a family memorial for my brother Tom whose daughters wanted to scatter/inter his ashes on the "Ranch" where he grew up and lived for the greater part of his life. It wasn't possible to access the area in January when he passed away and my nieces chose the weekend of his birthday in June to bring him "home." It was a intensely personal gathering and just the right way to remember his life.
It was a beautiful time to drive across the heartland....the sky was blue, fields and trees were greening and the rivers were full. We actually enjoyed Iowa and Nebraska AND even eastern Colorado! We saw many wild turkeys in the plowed corn fields as we drove through central Nebraska. They are strange, ugly/beautiful birds!
After brief visits with some good friends in Evergreen, we spent one night with my sister and then headed over the mountains on Monday, June 1. The Ranch was in process of bursting into Spring with early flowers blooming and trees leafing out. Lots of rain in the month of May made everything fresh and brilliant green. Wild sunflowers were blooming, wild iris ("flags") were just starting to pop open and giant dandelions were everywhere. It is my favorite time of year there. We spent mornings with coffee on the deck enjoying the beauty and quiet. My soul is always restored when I return to my childhood home.
My sons Ryan and Ian (and Ian's handsome dogs) joined us along with Ryan's partner Jennie and daughter Allie. It was so good to spend time with them. I miss not being close.
We put out several little hummingbird feeders and were swarmed with dozens of the little birds....ruby throated, purple throated, brown...all with iridescent green feathers that shimmered in the sunlight. They slurped up about 2 quarts of sugar nectar per day and were very vocal when the feeders were empty. Some were in full courting mode, doing a strange swooping flying act above the object of affection. Some were little bullies, guarding several feeders and chasing any hopeful intruders away. We had to buy two larger feeders to keep up with the demand. The word spread!!!
Each evening around 8:15 we made a driving trip down through the property to look for wildlife...we were never disappointed. Usually we saw numerous deer who would generally just look at us and go on grazing. Most evenings we saw herds of big elk who were easily spooked and disappeared in a rush if we moved to quickly.
There is a "rafter" of wild turkeys who live and roost in the giant evergreens that were fun to watch. This rafter is made up of four or five hens and one BIG tom turkey. The turkeys are very timid and disappear into the trees and bushes as soon as they become aware of watchers!
We listened to coyotes howling and yapping a night and heard hawks diving in the evening looking for prey. Friends who have visited over the years were sometimes terrified by the quiet and then by the noisy cacophony of the coyotes in the night!
On a mid-day visit to the Ranch reservoir, we were surprise to see many new and different "ducks". Happily enjoying the fresh deep water in the lake were Wood Ducks, Coots, and Merganser Ducks as well as a long-necked duck (definitely not a goose) that we were unable to positively identify. Unfortunately, all of the trout died late last summer, apparently of oxygen deprivation due to an unusual amount of algae that bloomed in the water. Some were over 18 pounds in size. Sad event. Hopefully, they will be restocked to grow again.
On Sunday, June 7, we hosted a pre-wedding dinner at a rustic lodge on Vega Reservoir. We enjoyed the company of about 22 of my family members and a couple of Wayne's who happen to live in Grand Junction in the same neighborhood as one of my nieces!! What a coincidence! Fun times for all.
On the last morning, we woke up to find all of the fields near the house filled with elk. What a beautiful sight!
After spending a week of quiet lazy bliss on the Ranch enjoying family and beauty, we (again reluctantly) took to the road again traveling back to Mequon over two long days.
On our way back to Denver, just beyond the Ranch, we saw a large cinnamon colored bear who quickly disappeared into the brush along the road. He/she was too quick for a photo.
We're home now until September and October (we think) when more adventures await us.
The reason for traveling so soon was a family memorial for my brother Tom whose daughters wanted to scatter/inter his ashes on the "Ranch" where he grew up and lived for the greater part of his life. It wasn't possible to access the area in January when he passed away and my nieces chose the weekend of his birthday in June to bring him "home." It was a intensely personal gathering and just the right way to remember his life.
It was a beautiful time to drive across the heartland....the sky was blue, fields and trees were greening and the rivers were full. We actually enjoyed Iowa and Nebraska AND even eastern Colorado! We saw many wild turkeys in the plowed corn fields as we drove through central Nebraska. They are strange, ugly/beautiful birds!
After brief visits with some good friends in Evergreen, we spent one night with my sister and then headed over the mountains on Monday, June 1. The Ranch was in process of bursting into Spring with early flowers blooming and trees leafing out. Lots of rain in the month of May made everything fresh and brilliant green. Wild sunflowers were blooming, wild iris ("flags") were just starting to pop open and giant dandelions were everywhere. It is my favorite time of year there. We spent mornings with coffee on the deck enjoying the beauty and quiet. My soul is always restored when I return to my childhood home.
My sons Ryan and Ian (and Ian's handsome dogs) joined us along with Ryan's partner Jennie and daughter Allie. It was so good to spend time with them. I miss not being close.
We put out several little hummingbird feeders and were swarmed with dozens of the little birds....ruby throated, purple throated, brown...all with iridescent green feathers that shimmered in the sunlight. They slurped up about 2 quarts of sugar nectar per day and were very vocal when the feeders were empty. Some were in full courting mode, doing a strange swooping flying act above the object of affection. Some were little bullies, guarding several feeders and chasing any hopeful intruders away. We had to buy two larger feeders to keep up with the demand. The word spread!!!
Each evening around 8:15 we made a driving trip down through the property to look for wildlife...we were never disappointed. Usually we saw numerous deer who would generally just look at us and go on grazing. Most evenings we saw herds of big elk who were easily spooked and disappeared in a rush if we moved to quickly.
There is a "rafter" of wild turkeys who live and roost in the giant evergreens that were fun to watch. This rafter is made up of four or five hens and one BIG tom turkey. The turkeys are very timid and disappear into the trees and bushes as soon as they become aware of watchers!
We listened to coyotes howling and yapping a night and heard hawks diving in the evening looking for prey. Friends who have visited over the years were sometimes terrified by the quiet and then by the noisy cacophony of the coyotes in the night!
On a mid-day visit to the Ranch reservoir, we were surprise to see many new and different "ducks". Happily enjoying the fresh deep water in the lake were Wood Ducks, Coots, and Merganser Ducks as well as a long-necked duck (definitely not a goose) that we were unable to positively identify. Unfortunately, all of the trout died late last summer, apparently of oxygen deprivation due to an unusual amount of algae that bloomed in the water. Some were over 18 pounds in size. Sad event. Hopefully, they will be restocked to grow again.
On Sunday, June 7, we hosted a pre-wedding dinner at a rustic lodge on Vega Reservoir. We enjoyed the company of about 22 of my family members and a couple of Wayne's who happen to live in Grand Junction in the same neighborhood as one of my nieces!! What a coincidence! Fun times for all.
On the last morning, we woke up to find all of the fields near the house filled with elk. What a beautiful sight!
After spending a week of quiet lazy bliss on the Ranch enjoying family and beauty, we (again reluctantly) took to the road again traveling back to Mequon over two long days.
On our way back to Denver, just beyond the Ranch, we saw a large cinnamon colored bear who quickly disappeared into the brush along the road. He/she was too quick for a photo.
We're home now until September and October (we think) when more adventures await us.
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Bird Watchers...who would have thought!!
Maybe with age comes a greater appreciation of some of nature's finest work. The birds of the world certainly fall into this category. We've laughed at ourselves and at our recently found fascination with the birds in our backyard and on the roads we travel. Years ago, we would not have believed anyone who said that we would enjoy looking at birds!
Our interest most certainly began with the annual arrival of "Charlie", the house wren (also known as a jenny wren). These tiny birds winter in the South and come back every spring to the place where they were born. They live to be 7 or 8 years old, and our Charlie is most likely the descendant of a long line of "Charlie's" to return each year.
Charlie arrives within a day or two of May 15 every year. He begins filling one or two of our birdhouses (one, a chicken and the other a cow)
with twigs, building a nest. He then begins singing his very distinctive song, wooing a mate whom we have named "Charlotte." Once Charlotte succumbs to his charms, she inspects the nest and, if she doesn't like it, throws all the twigs out and they begin a new one. Anything to please her!!
We know the tiny eggs have hatched when we see both Charlie and Charlotte hustling bugs to feed the babies who are voracious. The two parents are serious bug catchers and can spy a moth flying across the yard and nab it in mid-flight with deadly accuracy!
Only once have we caught sight of the babies. Generally, when they are ready to fly, they leave either in the wee hours of the morning or in the night and we never see them again.
After the first family is out of the nest, Charlie moves to another birdhouse and begins his wooing all over again. Generally he and a "Charlotte" raise two families per summer. I think the Charlotte's are not the same mamma!! Our Charlie is quite a lothario!
We also have a variety of backyard birds...orioles, cardinals, finches, crows, blue jays and the like. Charlie is very territorial and clears the yard anytime he feels that others are encroaching. We've watched him buzz a blue jay, much larger by far, chasing it out of the yard.
While driving, we have lots of chuckles when we see wild turkeys. They are so strange looking, yet beautiful in their own way.
We also see herons, sand hill cranes, many types of hawks and, depending on where we are, other birds that are new and amazing.
Once, while walking at Horicon Marsh, we suddenly noticed a big influx of visitors who were incredibly excited because a "sub-tropical cormorant" had been spotted in a tree by the marsh. Apparently, this was the first sighting of one of these in Wisconsin! We had seen it, but, not being bird knowledgeable, thought it just a strange interesting bird in a tree. Chuckle!
In Nebraska, this past March, we got to see the huge migration of sandhill cranes that stop near Grand Island/Kearney for a few weeks to feed before they head further North. Amazing sight to see the massive groups flying through the air before settling onto water or a field.
Their loud trumpeting call and crazy hopping about are a sight to see. I approached a little flock in a field near Mequon and got to hear and see their extreme displeasure!!
We are not crazy bird people searching out birds to fill our "bird list" and we don't often view with binoculars. We just stop, look and appreciate the wonder of these feathered wonders and maybe try to get a good photo.
We hope to retain our sense of wonder and curiousity and keep finding things to wonder about.
Our interest most certainly began with the annual arrival of "Charlie", the house wren (also known as a jenny wren). These tiny birds winter in the South and come back every spring to the place where they were born. They live to be 7 or 8 years old, and our Charlie is most likely the descendant of a long line of "Charlie's" to return each year.
Charlie arrives within a day or two of May 15 every year. He begins filling one or two of our birdhouses (one, a chicken and the other a cow)
with twigs, building a nest. He then begins singing his very distinctive song, wooing a mate whom we have named "Charlotte." Once Charlotte succumbs to his charms, she inspects the nest and, if she doesn't like it, throws all the twigs out and they begin a new one. Anything to please her!!
We know the tiny eggs have hatched when we see both Charlie and Charlotte hustling bugs to feed the babies who are voracious. The two parents are serious bug catchers and can spy a moth flying across the yard and nab it in mid-flight with deadly accuracy!
Only once have we caught sight of the babies. Generally, when they are ready to fly, they leave either in the wee hours of the morning or in the night and we never see them again.
After the first family is out of the nest, Charlie moves to another birdhouse and begins his wooing all over again. Generally he and a "Charlotte" raise two families per summer. I think the Charlotte's are not the same mamma!! Our Charlie is quite a lothario!
We also have a variety of backyard birds...orioles, cardinals, finches, crows, blue jays and the like. Charlie is very territorial and clears the yard anytime he feels that others are encroaching. We've watched him buzz a blue jay, much larger by far, chasing it out of the yard.
While driving, we have lots of chuckles when we see wild turkeys. They are so strange looking, yet beautiful in their own way.
Once, while walking at Horicon Marsh, we suddenly noticed a big influx of visitors who were incredibly excited because a "sub-tropical cormorant" had been spotted in a tree by the marsh. Apparently, this was the first sighting of one of these in Wisconsin! We had seen it, but, not being bird knowledgeable, thought it just a strange interesting bird in a tree. Chuckle!
In Nebraska, this past March, we got to see the huge migration of sandhill cranes that stop near Grand Island/Kearney for a few weeks to feed before they head further North. Amazing sight to see the massive groups flying through the air before settling onto water or a field.
Their loud trumpeting call and crazy hopping about are a sight to see. I approached a little flock in a field near Mequon and got to hear and see their extreme displeasure!!We are not crazy bird people searching out birds to fill our "bird list" and we don't often view with binoculars. We just stop, look and appreciate the wonder of these feathered wonders and maybe try to get a good photo.
We hope to retain our sense of wonder and curiousity and keep finding things to wonder about.
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
The Einstein's Phenomenon
A few years ago, Wayne began having coffee at a Mequon Einstein's with a group of what we fondly refer to as "old guys" though they aren't all "old" and they aren't all "guys." I "joined" when I moved to Mequon. It's a loosely organized, ever changing group of men and women who gather, some every morning, between 6:30 and 9 a.m. It's a time for conversation on a multitude of topics, a little genial arguing, and a time for catching up on everyones' lives.
We didn't realize that this is a phenomenon that happens all over the U.S. and in other countries too. We did know that one of the regulars meets with another group at a McDonald's a couple of times a week. He's a regular at two "old guys" places!
We didn't discover how universal this is until one morning we dropped into another Einstein's in Livermore, California (called Noah in California), and found the same big table with a group of "old guys" gathered having coffee. It was a huge deja vu moment, since the people there could have been the people in Mequon! Our daughter-in-law blinked and said "Wow, are we in Mequon?" Since our first visit, we have returned to this same Noah and have been welcomed by that group as if we were a regular part of it even though months go by in between visits! The same thing happens in Mequon with some people dropping in only once or twice a year and still being part of the group.
Since then, we have found similar groups all over the U.S., gathering in McDonald's at a long table, at Einstein's and Noah's and other traditional coffee shops. We even discovered groups gathering in McDonald's in Germany and the Netherlands. A friend from the Mequon Einstein's group, who moved some time ago to Las Vegas, coffees with a similar group at an Einstein's in Vegas.
We've found it to be a rather fine phenomenon; maybe others won't think it unusual, but until you have been a part of a regular group and then stumble into one in a totally different place and find it to be just like your home group, you won't know what a "phenom" it really is.
We look forward to going on Sunday mornings and sometimes other days of the week, and love the fact that, no matter where we are, we can find a group of "old guys" and feel like we are at home.
We didn't realize that this is a phenomenon that happens all over the U.S. and in other countries too. We did know that one of the regulars meets with another group at a McDonald's a couple of times a week. He's a regular at two "old guys" places!
We didn't discover how universal this is until one morning we dropped into another Einstein's in Livermore, California (called Noah in California), and found the same big table with a group of "old guys" gathered having coffee. It was a huge deja vu moment, since the people there could have been the people in Mequon! Our daughter-in-law blinked and said "Wow, are we in Mequon?" Since our first visit, we have returned to this same Noah and have been welcomed by that group as if we were a regular part of it even though months go by in between visits! The same thing happens in Mequon with some people dropping in only once or twice a year and still being part of the group.
Since then, we have found similar groups all over the U.S., gathering in McDonald's at a long table, at Einstein's and Noah's and other traditional coffee shops. We even discovered groups gathering in McDonald's in Germany and the Netherlands. A friend from the Mequon Einstein's group, who moved some time ago to Las Vegas, coffees with a similar group at an Einstein's in Vegas.
We've found it to be a rather fine phenomenon; maybe others won't think it unusual, but until you have been a part of a regular group and then stumble into one in a totally different place and find it to be just like your home group, you won't know what a "phenom" it really is.
We look forward to going on Sunday mornings and sometimes other days of the week, and love the fact that, no matter where we are, we can find a group of "old guys" and feel like we are at home.
Monday, May 11, 2015
"Fear" of Falling
I was thinking the other day about when we became much more cautious and a little fearful of taking a fall. I know that 15 years ago, if I tripped and fell, I didn't first think "Oh, God, please don't let anything be broken!" My first thought then was "Oh, God, please don't let anyone have seen my ungraceful crash!!"
Was the seed of fear planted when my maternal grandmother fell and broke her hip, eventually resulting in her giving up and willing herself to die? Is it seeing many friends and family needing hip replacements? Is it born from occasional visits to care facilities where older folks who are unable to get around are housed? Does it come from the creeping sense that balance has become less stable?
It's probably all of these things. For me, it became a real live fear when Wayne and I began riding bikes last year. We got on those two wheeled vehicles that, when we were young, were wonderful speeding, wind-in-the-hair miracles. Then if we fell, and we all did, it was a non-event...maybe a scraped knee or a bruised elbow.
We first returned to riding bikes when visiting friends in Door County who are avid bicyclists. I couldn't believe how unfamiliar getting on one was and how wobbly my first rounds of the bike rental shop's parking lot were. I have to say, something akin to genuine panic set in as we peddled off to a woodland bike trail. After falling off a couple of times, I realized that I was falling off, because, when I prepared to stop, I put my foot down too soon...before the wheels had stopped rolling!!! How could I forget how to stop and get off?
We did find that we liked the sport, trepidations be damned, and bought bikes to ride at home. We live in an area that is low traffic and perfect for the timorous rider (and timorous I am). I've mastered getting off (after stopping completely), and Wayne has been very kind in not laughing at my awkwardness. He did, though, say that I looked like a hamster on a wheel as I peddled in front of him trying to get up speed so that I could make it up a hill!! I've not forgiven that comment yet. We've graduated to riding on the great public bike trails that run North and South from Mequon and, last summer, built up to a number miles per ride. AND bicycling is great for improving balance. I've not fallen off again, though I am always alert for the "chance."
I think I alluded to making sure that bathtubs and showers are as slip proof as we can make them both at home and traveling. It's irritating to think that we must do so, when inside ourselves we are still 25 year olds who couldn't possibly fall!!
We are careful on stairs trying to improve balance by lightly touching the bannisters rather than gripping them fearfully, but always mindful that some body part could "give" and having a backup plan is a really good idea.
Any fall could be incredibly incapacitating as one of our good friends found when traveling in Great Britain. She missed a small step going through a doorway to the lady's room and fell. She did grab the door handle, but in doing so, pulled her shoulder out of its socket and tore many tendons. This resulted in a hospital stay in a strange country (though English speaking) and many months of rehab when she returned to the U.S. trying to overcome serious nerve damage along with the other injuries.
All of this being said, we will still bicycle this spring and summer (if they ever come), we will still practice walking and moving with confidence, and will do activities that help us retain balance and strength. Taking proactive action to overcome fear, rather than giving in to it, are important to us to ward off the progressions of bodies that are not 25 any more!
Now I have to face my fear of roller coasters and succeed in riding one with my eyes open!! Good thing I have a brave companion who fears little!!!
Was the seed of fear planted when my maternal grandmother fell and broke her hip, eventually resulting in her giving up and willing herself to die? Is it seeing many friends and family needing hip replacements? Is it born from occasional visits to care facilities where older folks who are unable to get around are housed? Does it come from the creeping sense that balance has become less stable?
It's probably all of these things. For me, it became a real live fear when Wayne and I began riding bikes last year. We got on those two wheeled vehicles that, when we were young, were wonderful speeding, wind-in-the-hair miracles. Then if we fell, and we all did, it was a non-event...maybe a scraped knee or a bruised elbow.
We first returned to riding bikes when visiting friends in Door County who are avid bicyclists. I couldn't believe how unfamiliar getting on one was and how wobbly my first rounds of the bike rental shop's parking lot were. I have to say, something akin to genuine panic set in as we peddled off to a woodland bike trail. After falling off a couple of times, I realized that I was falling off, because, when I prepared to stop, I put my foot down too soon...before the wheels had stopped rolling!!! How could I forget how to stop and get off?
We did find that we liked the sport, trepidations be damned, and bought bikes to ride at home. We live in an area that is low traffic and perfect for the timorous rider (and timorous I am). I've mastered getting off (after stopping completely), and Wayne has been very kind in not laughing at my awkwardness. He did, though, say that I looked like a hamster on a wheel as I peddled in front of him trying to get up speed so that I could make it up a hill!! I've not forgiven that comment yet. We've graduated to riding on the great public bike trails that run North and South from Mequon and, last summer, built up to a number miles per ride. AND bicycling is great for improving balance. I've not fallen off again, though I am always alert for the "chance."
I think I alluded to making sure that bathtubs and showers are as slip proof as we can make them both at home and traveling. It's irritating to think that we must do so, when inside ourselves we are still 25 year olds who couldn't possibly fall!!
We are careful on stairs trying to improve balance by lightly touching the bannisters rather than gripping them fearfully, but always mindful that some body part could "give" and having a backup plan is a really good idea.
Any fall could be incredibly incapacitating as one of our good friends found when traveling in Great Britain. She missed a small step going through a doorway to the lady's room and fell. She did grab the door handle, but in doing so, pulled her shoulder out of its socket and tore many tendons. This resulted in a hospital stay in a strange country (though English speaking) and many months of rehab when she returned to the U.S. trying to overcome serious nerve damage along with the other injuries.
All of this being said, we will still bicycle this spring and summer (if they ever come), we will still practice walking and moving with confidence, and will do activities that help us retain balance and strength. Taking proactive action to overcome fear, rather than giving in to it, are important to us to ward off the progressions of bodies that are not 25 any more!
Now I have to face my fear of roller coasters and succeed in riding one with my eyes open!! Good thing I have a brave companion who fears little!!!
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